on partying and alcohol

"will you drink alcohol? what do you want to drink, dawn?"
"anything but not beer... kahlua and milk, then."
"milk? how old are you?"

there's an unwritten rule when attending a party: drink. everybody's doing it, anyway. i'm trying hard to fit in, you know. but please don't take it against me that i don't have the gastrointestinal tracts for alcohol. i won't take it against those who do have them, too. cool na kung cool. but i just came to be with friends.

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i just got home from a friend's party (all with alcohol and loud music) and i realized(for the nth time around), i'm no party person, at all. yep, i tried talking to people who come up to me and introduce themselves. but the conversation ended there. i can't make it any more longer than the 30 second "yoroshiku. my name's dawn," drill. i ended up sitting on the couch for as long as i can remember, watching MTV VMA's, eating chips and drinking my kahlua and milk drink made an hour ago, while watching other people pour second or perhaps their third helpings of beer and chatting with themselves. bored, while everybody else had something to do.

i remember one crazy time when we dressed up for a night of partying supposedly with MTV in shibuya. but since we were below 20, we weren't allowed to get in. so we headed for another club instead. when the door opened, there goes the small room, with dim yet flashing lights, crammed with sweaty and drunk people, dancing (dirty dancing?) to the loudest music i've ever heard. our ticket came with a cup of vodka, or so i thought. i got it anyway just to look like i belong. haha we had our little spot in the middle of the dancefloor, me and my friends forming a little circle. for a while i enjoyed the dancing but things changed so fast. here goes a guy or two, slowly dancing their way nearer to our circle. maygawd. why do they have to dance so close to you? worse, why behind you? total panic. it didn't do me good. i was wishing i had my boyfriend there, i'd feel safer that way. but he was not there and i'm freaking out. haha good thing, the club had a separate room for the girls only. a big, muscled guy was guarding the entrance to the room to ensure it remains for girls only. it was my last resort to escape the horrors of the dancefloor. so, i stayed there, sat down, gave my high-heeled feet a break and watched tv for the rest of the night. (or should i say, dawn?).

don't get me wrong, i have nothing against partyphiles. it's their way of having fun. and i've got dozens of friends who looove to party. it's just that i can't get the hang of the mixture of alcohol+deafening music+super close range dancing+strangers (read: drunk strangers) in one room. i enjoy a lot things and i enjoy them with friends; sports, shopping, traveling, eating, etc.

but definitely, partying is not for me.